Wednesday, April 20, 2016

A Matter of Life and Death...Roundup

The following segment may be unsuitable for some members of our audience...like wusses, wimps, and weenies. Like Peter Folger of 917 Oakhurst Drive who wets himself whenever he hears a loud noise. Like Abigail Greene of 32 Willamette Way who sits alone in her darkened room and writes lesbian vampire fiction and cries herself to sleep each and every night. Like Richard Prather who, at the age of 56, still lives with his mommy on 626 Elm Street. He's never been employed, never known the touch of another and spends a bit too much time in the bathroom with the Sears catalog. We're onto you, Richard. We know what you're doing in there. Anyway, these are but three of the pathetic souls who don't find this blog agreeable to their rather milquetoast bland existences. But for the rest of you, we have a challenge called A Matter of Life and Death, all about cars, trucks, and bikes somehow pertaining to, you guessed it, life and death.  So grab yourself a...uh...Sobe Lifewater and a Dead Guy Ale, sit back and enjoy the roundup. Except for you, Richard. You go back to doing whatever the hell you were doing in there.

Speaking of knowing what you're doing in there, John Marshmallow takes out his trusty paper towels and builds himself a...DR Spritestaa or something. Seems youngins enjoy making up their own cars. This one, he thought was going to be the silliest car he has ever built but that is just a depraved slippery slope into much, much sillier things.

DR Spritestaa with Anti-Everything Gun

 But first, here's a 1986 Chevy Van Ambulance. It'll be the first of many ambulances in this roundup. Yes, in a challenge all about life and death, more than a few of us went the predicable route but all the fun is how we handled the predictability.

1986 Chevrolet Chevy Van Ambulance "Speedy Saviour"

 Next John brings in The Fuzz to put a stop to all this silliness with this 1999 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor. Pull over, says The Fuzz. Do you know how fast your were going? Have you had anything to drink this evening? Where are your pants? You have the right to remain silent.

1999 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor "Fuzzmobile"

It seems I had the right to remain silent but didn't have the ability. Anyway, the police arrived much too early in my humble opinion. Now would have been a good time to arrive and rid us of this...uh...Aviator American Sprite that has a trans-orange radar dish and a bouquet of flowers for some reason. Oh boy. When does this end?

Post-Apoc Zombie Sprite

I'd rather die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather and not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. How'd I do? That'll be the first of many life or death jokes I'll crack this roundup. Here's a 2009 Cadillac DeVille hearse with a coffin in a back.

2009 Cadillac DeVille Hearse "Death Drifter"

John's next submission is a 1972 Ford Pinto Wagon, which puts it squarely in the death category. You have no idea, kid! I spent my early childhood in the back seat of a 1970 Pinto. Except at the time I was unaware of my dad's blatant disregard for our safety and I imagined I was in an orange spaceship.

1972 Ford Pinto Wagon

A spaceship that would have sent me straight to the moon had someone gently tapped the gas tank. Well, it seems John has cleaned up his paper towels for good and posed his 2017 Aviator Primavera Sport Coupe (whatever the hell that is!) in a photo lightbox. Now all he needs to do is turn on some lights and iron the backdrop. And stop building silly made up cars.

2017 Aviator Primavera Sport Coupe(PV1-2FFHS/R)

Inky the Octopus makes a daring escape from a New Zealand aquarium in the middle of the night. He presumably went out the top, made his way across the floor and down a 50 meter drainpipe which lead to the ocean and to freedom is what I'm reading about instead of whatever the hell is going on with this "Rodzilla".

John Marshmallow's 2000 Nissan Skyline GT-R Hot Rod "Rodzilla"

In a similar story, a chimpanzee named Cha Cha escaped from a zoo in Sendai, Japan, and led police and zoo staff on a dramatic two-hour chase through a residential neighborhood. Also Johnni D chimes in with a rather clever rendition of the iconic little car from the Game of Life, complete with little pink and blue pegs. Oh, man, I loved that game!

Game of Life Car

Proving that all good stories end with the sweet, sweet release of a tranquilizer dart, Andrea Lattanzio rescues us all and hoses us down with this stunning Chuck Miller Ford C-Cab Fire Truck. This is what LUGNuts challenges are supposed to be all about, ladies and gents. This right here!

Fire Truck | '67 Chuck Miller’s Ford C-cab

Loek M begs the question: Did anyone order two ARV's? Ralph? Peter? Anyone? Seems no one did, but he delivers them anyway on this MAN military transporter, thus representing the death part of our life or death challenge.

Image not found

Loek chimes in later with the Volvo V90, arguably the safest estate car in the history of the world ever. Crashing in one of this puppies is like the gentle caress of a wayward lover under a lonesome alabaster moon. Wait, what? Somebody has been reading too many bad romance novels!

I have nothing against imgur per se...

And that someone being...Honey Boo Boo? Presidential hopeful Donald Trump? The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir? I don't know. I don't read romance novels, nor do I know anyone who does. I consider myself very intelligent. I read books by that wheelchair guy. What's his name? Oh right, Larry Flynt! Anyway, here's a Honda Life Step Van.

Seriously dude, use Flickr for your images.

A guy named Reclusiam asks the question: What better way to reach the edge of life and death than in a coffin strapped to a top fuel dragster? Dude has a point. You can't argue with that kind of logic. Its like the angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat. Pure logic right there.

Top fuel coffin

Or is it the angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat? Now I'm confusing myself! This is why I was never good at algebra. Ralph, you are a physicist, do you have any insight on the matter? Anyway, Reclusiam comes back with a drag racing, wheelie pulling ambulance and hearse which, you'll soon learn is precisely what Tim and I came up with later.

The duel of life and death

Peter Blackert reasons that James Bond is well acquainted with matters of life and death. He even stars in movies with the theme in the title. Least popular of all Bonds was the bloated loaf of Wonder Bread Pierce Brosnan in 'Tomorrow Never Dies' with this equally unpopular 1997 BMW R1200C Motorcycle.

BMW R1200C Motorcyle (James Bond - Tomorrow Never Dies))

The jury is still out as to whether the new all-female Ghostbusters movie will be popular or not, but like the original it will feature a Cadillac configured as a white and red ambulance / hearse. In both movies, the vehicle was about 30 years old, so for the original this meant the iconic 1959 Cadillac 'Ecto-1', for 2016, this means an updated 1984 version of the equivalent car.

Ghostbusters 2016 - 1984 Cadillac Series 70 Fleetwood Ambulance / Hearse

"Now pay attention, 007. Q-Branch has had to cut back on expenses, so we have been purchasing BMWs instead of Astons. I know that this is not your style, but hey, you aren't the most favorite of Bonds either, so get over it." I'm sure the conversation went something like this during 'Tomorrow Never Dies'. See, sometimes I don't have to write my own jokes as Peter did it for me. Good job.

BMW E38 750iL (Tomorrow Never Dies)

 Peter leaves me holding the bag for writing the humor for the Presidential Lincoln limousine in which President J. F. Kennedy was shot and assassinated in November 1963. Great, way to take the air out of the room, Peter! You sure know how to kill a comedy streak! I suppose JFK's life would have been saved had he suddenly spotted something shiny on the floor. What, too soon?

Lincoln Continental SS-100-X

 I suppose JFK's soft, supple watermelon of a head would have been better protected had he have been riding in this quirky 1948 Packard Henney Ambulance instead. The car at the time was said to look like a bathtub or a whale so you know it was safe.

Packard 1948 Henney Ambulance

 Speaking of safe, Peter's sixth entry for your approval is the Volvo 240 in "safety orange" as it was marketed as back then. Crashing in one of these puppies is as relaxing as a firm, yet gentle caress of a gifted masseuse with aroma therapy candles going and the soothing embrace of John Tesh music playing softly in the background.

Volvo 245 DL Estate (1975)

Speaking of happy endings, many Formula 1 racer's lives were saved by a Mercedes-AMG GT S Safety car. These high speed specialized vehicles acted as first responders with medical aid whenever a racer was in peril. Did JFK have one of these? No. OK, lets move on.

Mercedes-AMG GT S (2015/16 F1 Safety Car)

Should things not go so well for you in Geelong, Australia, (after all, there are no less than 4, 346 deadly animals there wanting to kill you) you can at least take solace in knowing your final ride can be had in luxurious style with this Tuckers Funerals 1960 Ford Galaxie Hearse.

Ford 1960 Galaxie Hearse (Tuckers Funeral Service - Geelong, Australia)

Taking us back from the dead and back into the action-packed world of James Bond,  Roger Moore drove this AEC Regent III RT246 Double Decker Bus used in the 1973 Film 'Live and Let Die'. In one scene, he drove it under a low bridge thereby slicing off the top deck, which then landed on the pursuing baddy following behind. Good times, good times.

AEC Regent III RT246 1947 (James Bond - 'Live and Let Die' - 1973)

Proving that Peter is just no good at delivering happy endings, he presents this Williams-Renault FW16 Formula 1 Racer that racing legend Ayrton Senna succumbed to massive head trauma and died in. Yikes!

Williams Renault FW16 (#2 Ayrton Senna - 1994)

I barely remember Cannonball Run but in looking back and seeing Adrianne Barbeau and Tara Buckman in mostly unzipped spandex jumpsuits; holy crap, maybe its something I ought to add to my Netflix list right now! Ralph Savelsberg presents the van and some of the cast.

The Cannonball Run Ambulance

Later Ralph proves that all the girls go crazy over a sharp dressed man. And sweet cars. And huge beards. They also forego overall good grooming standards so long as you're in ZZ Top. Ironically, the one guy in ZZ Top who doesn't have a beard...his last name is Beard. Go figure!

ZZ Top Eliminator

Next Ralph presents a vehicle and team who encompass the very definition of "a matter of life and death". Unfortunately bomb technicians such as these are clocking in overtime hours as of late thanks to dick bags like ISIS who decide to make the world a rather uncertain place to live in. This particular one is a model used by the Dutch Ministry of Defense bomb disposal teams.

Dutch MoD EOD van

What the world needs more of is Firas Abu-Jaber and his 2016 Bugatti Chiron.  This beautiful beast has the highest safety rating of any super car but can exceed speeds of over 200MPH thereby making this car both "The life support" and "The death dealer".

Bugatti Chiron

Alexander Pashoaletto  chimes in with this Smoke Squadron Monster Truck. Its a little unclear how it fits into the life or death category but who cares, its a monster truck with working suspension, by golly! You betcha! Jimminy Christmas!

Smoke Squadron Monster Truck

What this world needs more of (besides Firas Abu-Jaber riding on a unicorn and farting rainbows) is more zombie Linos. Luckily Sir Manperson answers my prayers (not the one about farting rainbows) with a zombie Lino and a post-apoc hearse with a Gatling gun coming out of a coffin. Surprisingly, this is not the first zombie Lino ever built in LEGO but the more the better to feed on your delicious braaaaaains.

Post Apoc Hearse with Zombie Lino - 10-wide - Lego

George Michael and the other guy from Wham! would surely enjoy this Whambulance as built by Nathan Proudlove. It demonstrates just the right formula of "controlled chaos" essential to rat rodding, and hot rodding. Also drag racing. Its sure to wake you up before you go go!

Whambulance

Speaking of shady encounters in a truck stop bathroom, Lino Martins (hey, that's me!) propositioned his buddy Tim Inman (not in a truck stop bathroom but rather via texting) to team up and build a wheelie pulling drag racing duo. First you take a ride in my '31 Flatline Ford Ambulance...

'31 Flatline Ford

...Then you end up in Tim Inman's Hells Bells '67 Cadillac hearse. I was like...yo, dawg, you know what would be dope? Then he was like...what? Then I was like...we build a drag racing ambulance and hearse pulling wheelies! Then he was like...what if someone else thinks of that? Then I was like...don't be stupid, dawg! Ain't nobody else gonna think of that! Then he was like...OK, dawg!

"Hell's Bells" 1967 Cadillac Hearse

Then sure enough someone else thought of it. But that's how our buddy challenge went down. Incidentally, I'm pretty sure that is also how bills are passed into law. And that is how we come to a satisfying end to our life and death challenge. I'm pretty happy, overall, with how it turned out. What do you think? Never mind. As evidenced by the rock stupid comments you people usually leave, your opinions aren't all that important. You know what is important? Other than that may or may not be the Green River Killer hidden behind your hamper? We have another action-packed challenge for you and the guy behind your hamper. Its called I Smell A (Modern) Rat and I assure you that if you participate in this challenge, you will become a trendsetter. You will show future generations of car customizers how it is all done. Here's the deal; you take any modern car built 1996 and after and make a rat rod out of it. Its proving to be not as easy as it sounds. But tune in next month to see how we pull it off. I'll crack more rock stupid jokes, you'll leave rock stupid comments and the world will go on. So until next time. Later!


















Monday, March 28, 2016

100 Ways to Win!…Roundup

We had ourselves a doozie of a challenge this month! It was our 100th build challenge and we called it 100 Ways to Win. Basically, participants pick a number from 1-100, admins dole out automotive assignments from a predetermined list we had on hand, then awesomeness ensued. And sometimes hilarity. As the name implies, it was an epic challenge and epic means prizes. With a little help from our friends at Constructibles, Brothers Brick, Dennis Glaasker, Dennis Bosman and No Starch Press, we were able to provide some ginormous LEGO sets to our three top winners as well as autographed editions of The Art of LEGO Scale Modeling by Dennis and Dennis. What sets did we muster up? Well, keep reading. But first, this is where a segue into my joke about why they load First Class passengers into the plane first. They corral them into their big, cushy seats, put a cocktail in their hands, then parade the unwashed masses into Business Class, Economy Class, and No Class to see how much better life can be if only you were a doctor. Or a stock broker. Or a former astronaut. Or a trophy wife with a boob job and yoga pants. Or someone in a fur hat. They always seem to be in first class. Yes, a bit of money, fake boobs, some yoga pants and a fur hat gets you pretty far in life. Just ask our winners!


The classiest of first class is, without a doubt, Firas Abu-Jaber. I'm certain he's no stranger to hoards of beautiful women with fake boobs, yoga pants, and fur hats cuz...have you seen the guy? Not to be weird about it but hot damn! I'd drag my nuts over a mile of broken glass just to hear him fart over a walkie-talkie and I'm not even into dudes. Did that just get weird? Anyway, Firas is a talented builder and our rightful first place winner with this Rolls Royce Silver Ghost and proud owner of the new Technic Volvo Wheel Loader.

Rolls Royce Springfield Silver Ghost Playboy Roadster

Sometimes you can be a little rough around the edges, a little bit trashy, and still fly first class, like say, Kid Rock, Mamma June, and every dude from Slipknot. This is where D-Town Cracka falls into place. Now, I've never seen photos of Mr. Cracka. He could be a runway model or a fat dude living in his mother's basement with his belly hangin' from beneath a billowy pirate shirt. What I do know is dude has got talent as evidenced by El Laxante, a bad-ass bored, chopped, dropped, and tracked '74 El Camino. He's the proud owner of a new Technic 24 Hour Racer.

'El Laxante' - '74 Chevy El Camino SS

Finally, bringing the class back to first class is DePino and for some uncanny reason, the third place winning entry is also a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost. Hey, what can I say? Non-LEGO folks from all over the globe voted and it turns out they like their LEGO cars really, really classy. And sometimes totally messed up. But mostly classy. Let that be a lesson to you all; rich people are just better people. Right, Justin Bieber? Anyway, DePino is the proud owner of the totally balls-out Technic Drag Racer. A heart-felt congrats goes to you all.

Rolls Royce Silver Ghost

And now we bring in the unwashed masses. The most unwashed of the unwashed masses is a guy named John Marshmallow. He seems to live by only one code: come early and come often. And also bring your paper towels. Let me show ya what I mean. First up, this 1962 Chevrolet Corvair Lakewood station wagon on a paper towel.

1962 Chevrolet Corvair Lakewood Station Wagon

Next on the John Marshmallow slab, he chose #85: "Build any French or Italian car for a secret agent." He then chose the 1968 Ferrari Daytona with an anti-everything gun (that shoots first, asks questions later) and a tiny wee minifig in a bow tie.

1968 Ferrari 365 GTB/4 "Daytona" C&TR(Complete and Total Refresh

Next the human marshmallow draws #21, "Build any Racing Peugeot." Apparently in his world, racing cars come without sponsorships, numbers or even colors. This one came with a little help from marshmallow dad, so it makes it cool.

1985 Peugeot 205 T16 Group B Rally Special

Just when John thinks LUGNuts is all about similarly shaped sports cars, we throw a wrench into the works with Challenge #32: "Build a 1975 Honda GoldWing". Yep, sometimes we're totally all about bikes. On a paper towel.

1975 Honda GoldWing

He called his fifth entry possibly his last but oh, boy, it wasn't! #86 was "Build any hot hatch", so John chose1999 Honda Civic Type-R that looks suspiciously similar to the racing Peugeot from earlier. Castle and spaceship builders think all LEGO cars look the same. Maybe they're onto something here.

1999 Honda Civic Type-R(EK9)

Next on the marshmallow slab, he draws #35: Build any Divco, custom or stock. This is probably what a Divco looks like before they paint on the colored stripes and company logos. Seems John has also done some research, knowing full well that the Divco went unchanged from 1937-1986, even longer than the VW Bug.

1955 DIVCO Milk Truck

I like it when people learn stuff. Next John draws Challenge #1 Build any Donk or Funny Car Dragster. He went the badonkadonk route with this 1981 Chevrolet Impala donk called Nice Cream Bar. Or as John calls it, the hilarious and positively stupid route . Apparently a bit of Ralph is rubbing off on the young man.

1981 Chevrolet Impala Donk "Nice Cream Bar"

A bit of Peter is rubbing off on the young man, too. Whoa boy, is it ever! This roundup is taking me weeks to write and it isn't even Peter's fault this time. Seems the boy wants to be as prolific as our resident Aussie engineer with his eighth entry; Challenge #49, "Build any car from 1942". For this option, he chose a 1942 Willys pickup.

1942 Willys Pickup

Not only is he building nearly as often as Peter, but he's showing some love for the continent Down Under with this 1962 Ford Falcon Ranchero called "Ranch Racer". Its the perfect thing for racing around the Australian ranch where there are no less than 4, 565 weird and deadly animals who want to kill you.

1962 Ford Falcon Ranchero "Ranch Racer"

If Ted @ndes posted his McLaren F1 just a couple hours sooner, he'd not only hold the record for the fastest production car, but it would have been the fastest entered into this challenge. Ted proves you don't need a zillion parts and an unemployable amount of free time to pull off an honorable mention for the win.

McLaren F1

Ted proves good fortune can strike twice with this Bugatti Type 57. Yep, there was a nod or two for the win on this one as well. Just like Susan Sarandon, this vintage lady has curves where they count.

Bugatti Type 57

A guy named Dicky Laban builds himself into a mad frenzy with this Plymouth SuperBird Roadrunner. This and plunging necklines were about the only awesome things coming out of the 70's.

#58 Plymouth SuperBird RoadRunner

Sometimes the list of choices I wrote are all about the numbers. When I came up with #64, I offered the choice between a '64 Impala or '64 Barracuda. A dude named Firstinfantry goes the less obvious route with a 1964 Plymouth Valiant Barracuda. Nice!

1964 Plymouth Valiant Barracuda

Much later in the challenge Firstinfantry gets #75 during the reshuffle and conjures up "Any Japanese Drift car". Here he presents the Toyota AE86 that is colored either like the Portuguese flag or a holiday fruitcake. Also Octan.

Toyota AE86 Octan Drift Car

A builder who sounds more like a rare bird than a builder, Mockingkakapo builds this 1984 Kawasaki ZX900 Ninja. Rarely seen in the wild, the elusive mockingkakapo eats only unripe berries and its haunting mating call of "five dollar makes you holla!" can be heard deep in the Amazon jungle.

1984 Kawasaki ZX900 Ninja MOC

The mockingkakapo builds its nest among the acacia trees. It also draws #72 and builds the Ferrari 458 Speciale and poses it next to a farmer and some pigs. Cuz nothing says Ferrari like pig farming!

Ferrari 458 Speciale

The next assignment for mockingkakapo stated simply: Google "Chip Foose's best designs" and go from there! He did some googling but according to the episode of Overhaulin' I saw, this black Ford F-100 was built for Mr. Foose by his team and not by Chip Foose.

Fosse 1956 Ford F-100 Moc

Next the rare bird with the funny name was handed assignment #83; Steampunk-ify any Fiat 500 or VW Microbus. Seems he went the VW Microbus route and make it look very much like a log cabin.

Lego Steampunk VW Microbus

Mockingkakapo proves to be a rare but rather prolific bird with #4. Pay homage to either Boyd Coddington or Bo Huff. When faced with a choice between two dead car dudes, he ultimately went with Bo's 1927 Ford in white instead of his original rusty dark brown.

1927 Ford Hotrod - Bo Huff Homage

Luke-M proved to be a headliner early in the challenge with not one, but two pearly white Nissan Fairlady Z's They're pretty sweet and, as it turns out, 50% more influential than Stanley Kubrick, Pablo Picasso and the Apostle Paul.

Nissan Fairladys

While you're mulling over that pop culture reference, Luke comes back later with another assignment, this time a bubble-top car that goes by the name Atomic Punk. Its 50% more influential than grated cheese.

Atomic Punk

TVarious has a little family history with rat rodding. Which makes it fortunate that he pulled #3; Any rat rod. Apparently his dad was all up into the scene and "can't build a rat rod anymore", so with his dad's suggestion, went with this '37 Ford pickup just the way his daddy would have done it.

IMG_20160213_203437_769[1]

In terms of quantity, not quality, Johnni D was in direct competition with John Marshmallow. First on the Johnny D slab is #50; Mad Max-ify any Dodge or Citroen. He chose the Citroën Mehara. While this model is a fairly accurate depiction of the real car, it seems he missed the definition of Mad Max-ify. Even in the silly original movie, I've never seen a vehicle this happy and yellow.

Citroën Mehari

But you can't count Johnni D as a total wash out. He came back for #33 Any Bonneville Salt Flat Racer...and it's matching hauler. This camper and salt flat racer got at least one nod for the win from my co-worker twice removed who seems to live with his mom.

Bonneville Salt Flat Racer

Later, Johnni D comes back with #63; 1956 Chevy Cameo...stock or custom. Known as "the gentleman's truck" this little Cameo is hauling some car parts which, like burying some snitch bastard neck deep in an ant hill, is a decidedly un-gentlemanly duty.

1956 Chevrolet Cameo Pickpup

He comes back later with #85 is any vehicle outfitted as a snow plow. Its the perfect thing for shoveling all that snow that fueled the beautiful Disco crowd in the 70's. Was that too obscure a reference?

2005 Jeep Rubicon with Snow Plow

Anyway, here's a reference only LEGO people would appreciate. I wrote assignment #22; Any vehicle from 1978-1987 and give it a LEGO "Classic Space" motif. Johnni answers the call of duty with this little entry.

1979 Autobianchi 112 Elegant

What are the chances Johnni D would be assigned both Mad Max inspired assignments? Chances are pretty good actually when you come back like a bazillian times. Here is a Mad Max Bug.

Mad Max Bug - Fury Road

Phew! This is the part in the roundup where I get bored and start looking up weird celebrity trivia. Huh, whaddya know, Megan Fox has hideously misshapen thumbs. Anyway, here's a 1951 Mercury Custom Lead Sled Coupe.

1951 Mercury Custom Lead Sled Coupe

Seems Madonna had herself a drunken melt down on stage recently. You know, I met her at a party once. Some producer guy, said he knew celebrities, invited me and my buddies to a party at his place and low and behold, Madonna. It was in her brown hair, cigar smoking, gold tooth phase. I thought she was self-centered and abrasive. True story, bro! Anyway, here's the Twisted Metal Road Boat.

(seems the photos for this one have disappeared)

Right around that same timeframe I had an argument over the phone with Andrew Dice Clay. At least I think it was him. Coulda been some other douchebag from Brooklyn. I was young and in the Navy and stationed in Staten Island at the time. My buddy said he knew him personally, called him up, and there you go. Lastly Johnni D chose #99 keyword Audi Racing.

Audi sport Quattro S1

Is that all the Johnni D entries? Seems it is. Phew! A guy named The Solitary Dark draws #37, Any motorcycle with sidecar. I was imagining some old-timey German or Russian vehicle someone with a handlebar mustache would own, but instead he goes with a racing bike with sidecar. That's one crazy sport, man!

Motorbike & sidecar 2

Turns out The Solitary Dark is not as solitary as you'd be lead to believe. He liked Ted Andes McLaren F1 so much that when he was later assigned the same car he gave Ted a nod with this not quite miniland scale entry. That makes him, at the very least, The Marginally Sociable Dark.

Mclaren F1 4

A guy named Aliencat was assigned Any 1952 pickup and came back with this tan and dark green beauty. With a surf board, beach chair and excellent presentation, it got more than a couple of nods for the win and looked to be among the top contenders early in the challenge.

Life is a surf, man

It seems we have an important elected official in our midst. One with an irresistibly soft coat, who loves to sleep in small holes, take dust baths, and chew on empty toilet paper tubes. Senator Chinchilla was assigned a 3,850 lb, sixteen cylinder-double hemi, all wheel steering monster. In other words, a Jeep Hurricane.

Jeep Hurricane

Senator Chinchilla is all about signing important bills into law, taking month long vacations and burying his poop under a pile of cedar chips. He also seems to be all about monstrous vehicles, this time in the shape of a custom hot-rodded Dodge Power Wagon that got at least one vote for the win.

Dodge Power Wagon Hot Rod

A guy named Marcu44 was tasked with Googling "Larry Watson paint" and figuring out the rest. My imagination soared with all the possibilities that could have been with this one. After all, Larry Watson's paintjobs are synonymous with hot rodding culture. This is what Marcu came up with.

''Larry Watson'' - pinstriped Car

Our next entry is a Ford Boss 302 Mustang. Its a pretty good entry, but what is the contestant's name? -Wat-. I said, its a pretty cool entry, but what is the contestant's name? -Wat-. The contestant's name, what is it? -Wat-. For the love of god! If you say "what" again, I swear to Christ I'll punch you in the balls! What's the contestant's name!?...

Meet the Boss

Sorry, couldn't resist that one. It seems some of our own admins could not resist the juggernaut that was our 100th challenge. For this reason, a clause was written in that said admins can enter if they couldn't stand sitting on the sidelines. No prizes could be had and, since we held the list, LUGNuts members at large had to assign our numbers. Not to let a good challenge pass him by, Peter Blackert shows some love for the 1972 Lancia Stratos Rally Car.

Lancia Stratos Rally Racer - 1972

Later Peter comes back and is assigned #14 Design any car for Green Lantern or Spiderman. This is hilarious considering Peter is an excellent engineer but tends to blow a fuse when tasked with having to flex some creative artistic muscle. He fancies Green Lantern would fancy a 60's era BMW Spicup. In green, of course.

BMW / Bertone Spicup - Concept 1969

This second entry had a bit more creative thought. Spiderman proves to get around New York City pretty well without a car, so what car would enable him to jump out in an instant and keep driving itself while the webslinger fights crime out on the rooftops? Why the convertible BMW i8 Spyder, of course.

BMW i8 Spyder - Spiderman

Veeborg had a potentially difficult assignment, but gave it, in my opinion, the most logical application possible. He was told to design Herbie The Lovebug, but not as a VW Bug. When I wrote this assignment it bugged me a little (get it?) as it was the only color specific one. Fearing a lesser builder would fail it for lack of correct color parts, but he squelched my fears with Herbie The VW Karmann Ghia.

Herbie as KarmannGhia

You might want to tuck in that shirt. Maybe clean up the beer cans you got lying around here. Maybe you ought to hide those nudey magazines and comb your hair. You might want to empty the trash and fluff up those pillows. And for the love of god, put some pants on, for cripe sakes! We have a lady in our midst and a rather talented one. Brixe63 graces us with the Mercedes 300SL Gull-Wing.

Mercedes 300 SL Gull-Wing.01

Proving she doesn't mind hanging out with us crude and uncultured boys after all, Brixe comes back later with a shiny red 1956 Ford F-100. I never met Brixe in person, but I imagine she could be fun and carefree like one of the boys. In my opinion she is one of the best LEGO motorcycle builders in the world. Yep, I stole techniques from her when I first built mine, so gotta give the lady credit where credit is due. But is it safe to fart yet? Cuz I've been holding this one in for like a week!

1956 Ford F-100.01

Somebody named soccersnyderi also got the Green Lantern and/or Spiderman assignment and obviously went with Green Lantern. Let's see, what else is in weird celebrity news? It seems the entire Kardashian clan is banned from the Hamptons, the White House, Oscar parties, Vogue Magazine, The Met Gala, South Beach, Miami and a burger joint in Buenos Aires. Nice!

#8 Green Lantern's Supercar

Ralph Savelsberg, on the other hand, is welcome here anytime and probably all the places the Kardashians are banned as we never really hear about his antics. A great thing happened during the challenge; the usually straight-laced Ralph was assigned a Zinger. He, at first, saw no sense in his logical brain for something so frivolous but once he did his research, had a great time with it. It put a smile on his face and got him at least one nod for the win.

VW Bug Zinger

Cleverniftydude lived up to his name when he was assigned any hot hatch. He whipped up a 1979 VW Golf GTI ready to race in scorching hot colors. He tells us this challenge brought many fond memories of his wayward childhood, cruising the streets and cramming far to many dudes into a little car. That's what these challenges are all about. Fond memories.

1979 GTI Tuner

Autobaas unwittingly saw the future when he was assigned any Ambulance or Hearse. This current 101st challenge is pretty much all about ambulances and hearses, so...yeah. Bet you didn't know I snuck in future challenges right in the assignments! I hope my copy/paste features carry over the Russian text but this UAZ 452 Ambulance from 1965 was nicknamed Таблетка (tabletka, a pill).

UAZ ambulance

A guy named W. Navarre was tasked with paying homage to one of two dead car building legends; Boyd Coddington or Bo Huff. I'm not too sure what either legend would think. Here's something yellow.

#98 - Yellow car! ...

Thirdwigg is a contestant that begs the question: What happened to the first two wiggs? No, seriously, I don't think I can sleep soundly anymore unless I know. Were they destroyed in a fire? Did they go the way of Terrence Howard and were replaced by Don Cheadle in Iron Man 2? I just don't know! One thing I do know, this '92 Porsche 911 is chock full of Technic goodness.

Porsche 911 (964) Cup Car

Oh and don't get me started with Micky Rourke's performance in that movie! That Russian accent was barely plausible and what was with those filthy hands? His face looks like it was pieced together by a cobbler. A guy named rkc62 was also assigned a Porsche, this time a 959.

LUGNuts Porsche959-Front

When I wrote assignment #60 I was thinking surf, sand, and some good ol' nostalgia. A contender named Velocities pulled it off nicely with this 1948 Chrysler Town & Country Convertible. I can say with confidence this little car got more than a few nods for the win.

1948 Chrysler Town & Country Convertible

There was a time when a younger Raphy was much more involved in the club. I miss that. He has grown up, as boys do, and discovered other things, I presume. Like solving the mystery of where those other two wiggs went. Still he stopped by just long enough to build us a little hot rod towing a seaplane and to wish us another 100 years. Years?! What?!

are you ready for raphy's rod

Veryrusty82 was assigned any vehicle mentioned in a song, so naturally he went with a decidedly not-rusty dune buggy from a song of the same name by The Presidents of the United States of America. If real former presidents made a band, I wonder what it would sound like. That scenario is just ripe for clever jokes that I just can't think up right now cuz its the end of the day.

2016-02-27 16.27.15

Some coffee would perk my mood. As well as something totally balls-out crazy like say...a lime green rocket powered, fire breathing, drag racing, 80's era fire truck . I'd call it something crazy like The Afterburner. I really wish such a thing could be built, but no one, not even Nolnet has that kind of imagination or talent. Oh, well. A boy can always dream, right?

The Afterburner

Geraldcacas was assigned something to do with Peugeot racing (probably) and was surely very excited about it. Here is a quote he gave us; "...and he pulled that E-brake at the right point and smashing that rev at peak rpm on 1st gear, clearing that tight turn like a greased cold stallion! And that's what the Peugeot 208 GTi Peugeot Sport can do!!!"

2013 Peugeot 208 GTi Peugeot Sport

I have to say it was a bit cringe-worthy not seeing TechnicNick take home a prize. To be clear, this 1956 Ford F-100 is three feet long and an engineering marvel. I can see the hours of hard work put into it. It would be an attention getter in a public convention setting but in the end, I think the weird cropping and the fact that this monster didn't fit in his photo studio was his undoing. Still, there were plenty of well deserved nods for the win.

No photo link so clicky clickyh ---->  https://flic.kr/p/DEqu4h

Marin Stipkovic was assigned to build any car from the year he was born so went with a space car from...Total Recall. That's the one where Schwarzenegger's head explodes, right? The diorama was a good effort but a bit dark and hard to see the vehicle in question.

Total Recall

A guy named jamescox027(at some website) was tasked with Mad max-ifying a school bus and so there's like power functions and spikes. Clearly, the kids aren't all right. That was a The Who reference. Went over your heads? Yeah, mine too. Let's move on then.

bus-front-1

With a name like bricksftw, this next contestant would be a shoe-in for the win...unless, of course, his version of "ftw" means "f*** the world", then not so much. His end product is a 2006 Renault Nepta concept with weird lime green front fenders on an otherwise all gray car.

Renault Nepta

Whenever there is a LUGNuts challenge with prizes, Don't Talk to Robots comes a'runnin' and presumably doesn't mention it to any robots. He was tasked to google "wildest cars SEMA" and in doing so came up with the Darth Vader real life Hotwheels car. While Vader is more machine than man, he is still technically a skinny white kid that somehow turned into a big hulking black guy and thus not a robot. I wonder if he knows I built this same model several months ago.

LEGO Darth Vader Car

_Tiler knows the formula for success. Its good photo presentation and Volksrods. No, seriously, its been scientifically proven; you take good photos, throw a Volksrod or two into the mix and you have yourself the makings for earning a Nobel Peace Prize. Probably. Or at least getting 10% off your purchase at any participating Red Lobster. Or you can cut in line at Walmart. Either way, nice Volksrods, dude.

Cítrico de México _01

Eka-Rahajra was assigned a Chevy Cameo or "The Gentleman's Truck". Here we see it in dark gray and red. I literally have nothing funny or notable to say about this. Lets move on.

Chevy Cameo 1956

Perhaps a more humor worthy entry is this Hotwheels Deco Delivery Truck. Its not so much that the entry is funny, but it was built by a contestant named krazykooter22. A quick google search proved Crazy Cooter to be the dim-witted mechanic from Dukes of Hazzard. And now you know.

image

Norm.fm shows his zombie face around here and gets assigned any bubble top car. His entry is suitable for any weirdo space alien, in this case Squidman from the LEGO Space Police line that teaches kids that anyone who looks different from us is always the bad guy and should be arrested at once.

Bubble top tricycle

No stranger to being hassled by The Man and arrested is Outlawcustomdiecast, if his name is any indication. Actually he has a promising name for a LUGNuts newbie. It conjures up ideas of kit-bashing die cast cars into diabolical customizations but alas his photostream showcases nothing but pics of this Jeep Hurricane apparently built by his young son.

DSCN6838

Legopard got the assignment I love so much, we probably should make it a future challenge. I should appeal to whatever a-hole runs the LUGNuts challenges to see if I can make that happen. So anyway, #16 was 'Any vehicle from 1978-1987 and give it a LEGO “Classic Space” motif" and 'pard did a swell little dune buggy.

VW Dune Buggy

A guy named SPARKART! got the other assignment I really, really liked...build any Batmobile from movies, TV, comics or imagined. I'd joke that we should appeal to the a-holes in charge around here but we already had that challenge awhile ago. He had plans for the whole Tumbler but only had enough parts and imagination for the Batpod.

LEGO Bat-pod

Lego Junkie has been clean and sober for awhile now. He stayed off the bricks, even got his 90 day coin from Legohaulics Anonymous. Things were looking pretty promising right up until this challenge made him fall off the LEGO wagon and hit the bricks pretty hard with this Audi R18. Now he's hopped up on the LEGO all over again. One day at a time, brother. One day at a time.

Audi R18

A long, long time ago, not in a galaxy far, far away, but rather in a small apartment in Seattle, I looked at the Hot Wheels Deco Delivery cast, specifically the one with the Skittles themed paintjob and thought about building it someday. I deemed it too difficult. I chickened out. I'm a big huge failure. Low and behold Alexander Paschoaletto comes along and shows us all how its done. Bravo, Alex!

Hot Wheels Skittles Deco Delivery

Brickadier General was tasked with Steampunk-ifying any Fiat 500 or VW Microbus. Here we have a steamy VW bus with a groovy wild west diorama. He says we'd recognize a familiar face. Let's see, is it Bea Arthur? George Washington? Edgar Winter? Oh, its Doc Brown!

Steampunk Volkswagen Camper

A guy named Dodge was assigned a Mini Cooper. I know, I know, this entry is just ripe for Dodge references. Why wasn't he assigned a Dodge Daytona or a Dodge Dart? Hey, thems the breaks when you enter one of our challenges where we have to assign you something. Its a pretty cool Mini Dodge...er, I mean Cooper.

Mini Cooper

Saberwing007 was assigned any vehicle inspired by a sea creature or a dinosaur. There's plenty of good potential here, like the Corvette Stingray, the Hyundai Tiburon, the T-Rex motorcycle, the Dodge Raptor (hear that, Dodge? You coulda built a Raptor!). But instead Saber built some...uh...thing with a write up longer than this roundup. So much for short, punchy write-ups.

Lugnuts 100

Speaking of short and punchy, Doctor Mobius (truth be told, I more fit that description than he does) demands that you witness him and his Mad Max-ified Spoiler Sport. You can tell he demands it as evidenced by the fact that there are three exclamation marks. With so many exclamation marks, all he needs is the inclusion of the misspelled phrase "4 SAIL!!!" and he'll have the makings of your average craigslist ad.

Spoiler Sport... WITNESS ME!!!

Chrisbuilds demands nothing from his 1965 AMC Marlin and he gets it in spades. Wait, what? That was rude! I know, right? But what other joke can I put here? Nah, seriously, I like how he had the choice of a 1967 Alfa Romeo 33 Stradale or an AMC Marlin. Seems Chris made the right choice with this sweet ride. Pretty amazing considering he pulled it off all on the last day.

1965 AMC Rambler Marlin

AlanHrafn clocks in just under the deadline with this Mk1 Ford GT40, which is odd considering the GT40 is such a fast car. You'd think he'd be among the first done. Get it? Cuz its fast? Right? OK, that joke fell flat. You can tell I am loopy from this long write-up. That and vodka. And sniffing glue.

LEGO 1964 GT40

By this point we've already waved the checkered flag and sent all the spectators home, but two more totally sweet entries came through after the deadline that I'd be remiss not to include here. They couldn't be considered for the win, but were a valiant effort anyway. Here is DarthNick's Koenigsegg Agera.

Koenigsegg Agera R

Our 77th entry for this challenge, making it our most popular LUGNuts challenge in the history of the world ever (probably) is #81 'Any vehicle from Twisted Metal or Super Mario Kart'. Duq answers the call of duty with the mean and nasty Warthog, clearly not from Super Mario Kart.

Warthog (2)

Is that all of them?! OMG, it is! Phew! What a roundup! This took a long-ass time to write, but all was worth it when you look back on so many phenomenal entries. Thank you all for a hugely successful challenge. Some of these great MOCs have put plenty of new builders on the map and that is what's important. From reading everyone's comments it seems most of you built things you never would have thought of in a million years and still had a lot of fun while doing it. That's what LUGNuts is all about, my friends. That and vodka. But mostly awesome cars, bikes, and trucks built in LEGO. We hope you can all stick around and build with us, even when we're not giving away prizes. Like for next month's challenge, for example. We're calling it A Matter of Life and Death. We may see an ambulance or two, maybe a hearse or a fire truck. You'll just have to tune next month to see what diabolical things we do. Oh, and chime in with your witty and insightful comments if you actually read these round-ups all the way to the end in 3...2...1...